The Extremely Incomplete Recordings of (The Joe)
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Songs (w/ lyrics) planned to be on the album, the final track listing order was never completed.
1. Retarded Snake Dance
maaaaaaaa....
not a real song. actually a dance created by Laslo PanafleX
2. Green Carrot
This is a good ole story I made up. One day I came upon a Carrot in the pale yellow faded peas. I walked on my roof & fell off & it was crushed under my heel. That's when I found out it was this big Approximately one inch. I miss my Green Carrot.
3. Food
i guess it would be nice if i could touch somebody but i don't have my reach'n broom & i got to think twice before i give my heart away & i know an artificial one will help me moo
Oh, but i need some time on lipo sucktion so i can pick myself up off the floor but that blub comes down with mass destruction Well it takes a fat man baby cause i can't fit through your door
I got to have food got to have food got to have food got to have food
I'm lazy & i know you're wish'n i would say "i cannot eat another thing b'cause I can't see my shoes" [What the Eat?] so lazy, my doctor passed away cause i ate him yesterday & another tried to bomb me cause i ate his zoo
Before this river becomes an ocean full fo gravy & cores well that blub comes down & fills that ocean Well it takes a fat man baby cause i just fell through your floor
I got to have food got to have food got to have food got to have food
I can't get myself up I got to have food I got to have food I got to have food I got to have food got to have food ahh ungh uhhh Help! i'm having a heart attack!
4. Savage Beatings Song 1
savage beatings it was the savagest beating I ever gave....
5. Savage Beatings Song 2: Savage Putrid Ninja Beatings
savage putrid ninja beatings [3x]
beatings with a baseball bat every hour
6. Savage Beatings Song 3: Savage Beating
Hit someone in the spine with a baseball bat what do you call it?
Savage Beating [2x]
Hit a kid upside the head with a crowbar What do you call? Child Abuse?
No. Savage Beating Savage Beating
Cracking spines, concussioning minds, wacking limbs with baseball bat tin
Savage Beatings [2x]
7. Savage Beatings Song 4: Savage On the Beating
Lyrics Unknown
8. Savage Beatings Song 5
Savage Beating beans the secret is they taste like crap.
9. Savage Beatings Song 6
Lyrics Unknown
10. Amazing Pie! How Sweet the Taste
Rewrite of the first song ever written by Emperor MAR
11. Irish Jig Tune
Concepted instrumental
12. EnLarge
13. I Know a Cat
I know a cat that I can punch in the face
That one right there oo woh
That one right there
I can punch
Parody of Into Your Arms By Lemonheads
14. Punch My Cat in the Face
Punch my cat in the face [2x]
Slam its head in the door [2x]
Gonna give my cat a savage beating like it's never had before
Gonna get my cat [2x]
with a baseball bat [2x]
Gonna give my cat a savage beating like it's never had before
To the tune of Three's Company
15. Drink a Book in my Face
Drink a book in my face [2x]
Pull a book out my droor [2x]
Drink Book savage beating never pad be shore
Gonna Drink a Book [2x]
with a lasetall pat [2x]
Drink Book savage beating never pad be shore
Rip-off of Punch my cat in the face
16. The Story of Life
Well oneday you're born the next day you're one day old, But 23 years later you're out on the street eat'n a brick you found at City Hall. A while later you see a rich man go by in a Pinto & you think to yourself I wish my life was like that, so you get a job. The next thing you know you're riding a blue cow in the Sahara Desert. Just to deliver some Meow-Mix to a 4-legged war widow. You get there & find out this woman has been dead since 'ot 4. In life got to give a little & take a little, But what noone told you is that you would be scraping put a bat's vocal cords just to get 3 cents for the government. So you decide to marry a rich braud & when you do you don't get any money. 5 years later you got 21 kids, your wife, & you living in a box. On top of all that she is pregnant with octuplets & you want to get away so you pack the only food you got take a skateboard from a punk kid & get away far away. But your happiness blinds you & you ride that skateboard directly off a bridge. The next thing you know you wake up in a pile of plastic sealed index fingers. You walkaway only to find out it's your 29th birthday. You think to yourself if life is this bad now what will it be like when you get older. Walking across the street you see all of your now 29 kids & wife. Then you run as fast as you can & jump back off the bridge. Well after 16 years you wash up in Italy to then discover aliens have enslaved Earth & they have extremely fast growing toe nails. Then you're forced to trim them by binting them off. You were wondering what life wuld be like when you're older. You are now 45 & you wish you would of never survived. What can you do that's life.
17. The Oatmeal Phrase
it smells like oatmeal up in dis house
aah yeah!
wika wika
18. Large Breasted Men (aka me)
Song taken out due to too many ties with communism & beating wales
19. The Moral
Well one day I was walking down the street thinking to myself, "If I was walking down a gralvel road & saw a pig & it snorted at me, I'd be like cap cap cap." I'd find out that if I walk down the street I'd get hit by a car & I did. So, after I got decapatated, I was thinking, "If I ever met Santa Claus & he tried to sit on my lap I'd be like cap cap cap." After 62 hours my head was getting eaten by monsterous rats in a gutter & as it happened I thought, "If I ever met me I would be like cap cap cap."
Well The Moral of the story is take the coat to the crop & loosen the sword properly.
written by Emperor MAR & President Rod Zague Hoetrain
20. Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? Theme Song
21. Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? Theme Song 2
People go through life talking & say worthless things but Nobody has anything to say but Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? but Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? the only thing anybody has to say is Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? I guess people just talk to make conversation or something like that Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? I don't want to do anything Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh? Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh?
22. ¿Something Down?
Hi kids don't you want ot grow up to be just like me & suffer constant hearattacks & hyper obesity.
Perpetually struggling to breathe & Drinking Books while giving savage beatings
written by (The Joe) & Laslo PanafleX
23. Militia
da da, da da da malitia
24. How's It Gonna Taste
25. Semi-Chared Pie
26. Prankster's A
27. Zimbabwe Oops! I mean Artie & Artie
Artie & Artie they are all friends
Artie & Artie the fun never ends
& El Rey he's a big drunk he's passed out & alone
but who gives a funk?
28. This is what I sound & when I be do
29. Refreshments
30. Control- uncented special clean but not pure white. Peanut butter zero hundred and won.
Control- uncented special clean but not pure white. Peanut butter zero hundred and won.
31. Radically Repetitive Rock
32. 438 565
438 565 You don't know what it doesn't do. So, how could you know what it does do? [2x]
This song was re-written in 2001.
33. After i Died Before I Lived I was Born
34. The Chair Song
I like to sit in chairs! I like to sit in chairs! Sit in chairs.
No matter where I am in the world, standing up makes me sore & I don't want the floor
I like to sit in chairs! I like to sit in chairs! Sit in chairs. [2x]
If I'm wear'n pants if I'm wearing shorts if I am in the buff I like to sit in chairs as long as they're not rough.
I like to sit in chairs! I like to sit in chairs! Sit in chairs. [2x]
If I'm on the street. If I'm eating meat. So what I got 2 feet. I got a lot more chairs to use as a seat.
I like to sit in chairs! I like to sit in chairs! Sit in chairs. [2x]
Written at a time when Emperor MAR liked to sit in chairs & I like to sit in chairs was his current catch phrase.
35. A One Hour Story captured in 10 seconds
A bunch of sucky things happened but I'm alrgith now.
A bunch of sucky things happened but I'm alrgith now.
36. Daze
I'm going through the day not knowing anything
don't think about my life
don't think what's going on
I don't worry about my life
I don't realize what's wrong
& at the end of the day I feel bad or empty cause
I've gone through the day dazed
Unaware of everything lost a piece of my life
[Entire song repeats]
37. Jump Out
Unwritten only concepted.