January
1/1/03
Semi-Flashback Edition:
If you're looking for a New Year's Lesson you came to the wrong place
but remember this:  Eat bread it make glass shine.

1/1/05
While playing a musical instrument one can be quiet & loud at the same time.

1/1/08
Super is supper with one ‘p’ that is how good supper is you see.

1/2/03
Only drunks can truly make racial slurs.

1/2/05
Crackers are one of the few ways to exert dominance over large & powerful animals.

1/3/03
When the lessons are few & you don't know what to do, Drink a Book & rhyme, rhyme, something, something.

1/3/05
2004 no more. 2005 still alive. Sorry zombies.

1/4/03
When the wind blows:
We should stop making lessons that rhyme they are a waste of time & make no sense like a jive talking mime.

1/4/05
The more rules one has the more rules there are to break.

1/5/03
Sand is an important part of life so important that 2 colours runs.

1/5/05
There is plenty of room on a spaceship.

1/6/05
Take time to rhyme, we did.

1/7/05
Anticipation runs high in the new year. That is why we waited until the seventh to do this lesson.

1/8/05
If you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you that person has a very piercing stare.

1/9/05
Birds can easily hear high pitched voices.

1/10/05
One who struggles with problems has a lot of trouble on one's hands.

1/11/05
The reason why high fives are so popular is because a large percentage of U.S. currency bears traces of cocaine.

1/12/09
Just because we're made from dirt doesn't mean it's better than us.

1/13/09
When looking for something to major in while in college don't become a history major. Become a future major instead, it will save you a lot of study time.

1/14/02
Don't live in the schlums become a bum.

1/15/02
If you're ever angry because you're stuck in traffic. Just laugh it off unless that laugh is a maniacal laugh.

1/15/05
The only way to hear a seashell is to hold the ocean to your ear.

1/16/02
Generals can't do usual things.

1/17/02
WARNING this lesson is one of the most important & truthful lessons we've ever had. We here at Piemerica realize that's not saying much but anyway:
Omaha Nebraska is not a legend!

1/18/02
It is said, "when you hear a whistle blow snap into action" but I say "no, because snapping into action could cause permanent bone damage."

1/18/05
Even the laziest person can have a wild imagination.

1/19/09
If you forget about a deadline, don't worry, just hurry.

1/20/09
The underlying problem with lying under the bed is that you may hit your head.

1/21/05
Knowledge is power & too much power is dangerous but I'm sure none of the people who read this would have to worry about that.

1/22/01
Do not play dead in a freshly dug grave.

1/22/02
If this is 1st period, what is home room? The sentence?

1/22/05
The best place to have a fit is a tailor shop.

1/22/09 Flashback Edition for the 8th Anniversary of Lessons:
When someone says to you, "It's a small world." tell them to go take a walk.

1/22/11 10th Anniversary of Piemerica's Lessons!
Comedy is for losers (of seriousness contests).

If cults had denominations they'd be called diffecults.

A good way to refer to nothing is by saying "almost something."

Jerks suck especially when I call them jerks. They get all mad and act like jerks.

If you don't like Wednesday you'd be like "When's this day gonna end?"

Naval oranges are grown on boats.

Europeans suck at being from somewhere else.

The sense of humor is taste.

1/23/01
If you are thinking about becoming a cannibal listen to this first. Human beings are not made in factories & are not manufactured in flavors.

1/24/01
When attempting to accomplish a goal don't set it for a particular time. Then you'll have a good excuse for not doing it yet.

1/24/05
There is nothing funnier than laughter.

1/25/01
Remember a picture is worth a thousand words, not a picture can say a thousand words. So stop torturing them in your cellar.

1/26/09
Instead of in love some people are just in luck.

1/27/05
You don't have to be on the lookout for strange signs because those are the most obvious.

1/28/02
If you ever get the feeling that you're going to get your legs broken, running wildly with your eyes closed won't prove otherwise.

1/29/01
When properly observing a stop sign. You do not need a go sign to proceed (after the stop).

1/29/02
Lesson written 9/4/01 for journal
"...sharks can be a delightful friend, in cartoons. It wouldn't bother me much if a shark came after me in the water. I can't swim so there is a .001% chance of it saving my life....My tip is to swim with fish & let them get eaten."

1/29/05
Online comics always get a good response, lol.

1/30/01
When playing a game of hide & go seek, no matter which position you are in, it is best to get up & walk away.

1/30/02
If the 1st gear won't turn & the 2nd gear won't turn. The 3rd gear isn't going to listen to you either.

1/31/01
It has been said, "When all else fails try Jesus." But if he succeeds why not try Him first?

1/31/02
When using a ladle ah forgit it just don't fill up your lawn with intellectual cones.

1/31/05
Sometimes tomorrow makes today better.