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November
11/1/02
Have a neighborhood party where everybody rings their doorbells & knocks on their doors to a hep beat & then get dowN!

11/2/02
If you set meat on fire it's called grilling but if you set anything else on fire it's called arson.

11/2/04
Don't go boating when you should be voting.

11/3/02
Cheese don't say please, so don't be mad if it's impolite.

11/4/02
In this crime filled world today, You don't need to lock your doors, nobody wants to go to your house.

11/5/02
Today is Tuesday. I'm sure some of you needed to know that.

11/6/02
When the noose becomes the latest fashion it won't last long. wink wink

11/6/04
If you hate working for McDonalds & want to take them down from the inside offer free refills of french fries.

11/7/02
Buy a big box of ribbons & keep them as long you can. That way if ribbons ever become scarce you'll be the richest person in the world.

11/8/02
The proper way to handle anger is with a handle, duh!

11/8/04
Due to the modern popularization of tattoos the phrase "Read my lips." can now be taken literally.

11/9/02
Television is a perfect way to learn.. about bad acting.

11/10/02
If you point a camera at a shoe store, it will leave.
Also 500 miles of sludge is infirmed to 8 admonishing turboes.

11/11/02
If you reach for the stars & don't reach them you're lucky because stars are hot & can hurt.

11/11/04
The only reason why people retire is because as they get older their hearts can't take the sound of an alarm clock.

11/12/02
If you reach for the stars you are a stalker.

11/13/02
The only reason the U.S. is the world's best country is because Godzilla keeps destroying Japan.

11/13/04
Poor people can't have aides.

11/13/08
Here's a healthy cooking reminder:  If you fry you die. If you bake it you make it.

11/14/02
The ocean is a troubling place to be if you can't swim.
Milk is a terrible thing if skim.

11/15/02
Old people have adventures with their dentures.
No wait, they're just senile.

11/15/04
You can never know when Mars is blushing.

11/16/02
Stupid people are like goopkeinivot, they make no sense.

11/17/02
Ugly people are like sunlight they are nice to have around but you don't want to look directly at them.

11/18/02
If you've never met (The Joe) you don't know what you are missing & trust me you don't want to know.

11/19/02
You can fit an elf on a shelf.

11/20/02
Abolish crate curves, soda lunger.

11/20/04
The faster your run the longer you'll stay inside.

11/21/02
Talk is cheap, unless you are a television psychic.

11/22/02
If the couch says "owch" there's something in it.

11/23/02
If somebody says, "if you ask me.." & nobody asked them.
They got no business talk'n.

11/23/04
The future is unforgettable.

11/24/02
Only smart people need be afraid of headshrinkers.

11/24/04
Shooting a clock is the busy man's equivalent to wasting time..

11/25/02
Thieves maybe able to steal your material possessions but they can't steal your sadness &/or anger.

11/26/02
Tourists can be annoying, but don't blame them for not being from your country, blame their despotic ruler.

11/27/02
Bees are nice if you give them honey.
Bees are mice if you dress them funny.

11/28/02
If you want to have Thanksgiving for a living be a 'yes man' or 'yes woman'

11/29/02
Scared of life on other planets?
Well you should be more scared of life on this planet.

11/30/02
If you don't use deodorant, you truly love it.

11/30/04
Running into a wall is like running into a doorway & stopping but more painful.