Piemerica's Lesson of/for the
Day Collection
January
1/12/09
Just because we're made from dirt doesn't mean it's better than us.
1/13/09
When looking for something to major in while in college don't become a
history major. Become a future major instead, it will save you a lot of
study time.
1/19/09
If you forget about a deadline, don't worry, just hurry.
1/20/09
The underlying problem with lying under the bed is that you may hit
your head.
1/22/09 Flashback Edition for the 8th
Anniversary of Lessons:
When someone says to you, "It's a small world." tell them to go take a
walk.
1/26/09
Instead of in love some people are just in luck.
February
2/10/09
While a while is some, some while is a while longer.
March
3/18/09
Losing your mind is good for you but better still is taking it off and
out.
3/24/09 Flashback Edition
The opposite of sitting is standing. The opposite of walking is
standing still. Therefore the opposite of sitting is walking.
3/25/09 Flashback Edition
Traveling through New Mexico is never boring if you bring another city
with you and a very large truck.
April
4/15/09
The past always seems like more fun than the present but only because
the past is much longer.
4/16/09
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't, if you don't have a horse.
4/17/09
Anyone can be an amputee but it'll cost you an arm and a leg.
4/18/09
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but only if the beholder's eyes
are beautiful. |
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4/19/09
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, except
when your child goes missing.
4/21/09
If you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth your mother didn't
understand proper prenatal nutrition.
4/24/09
If you're eaten out of house and home don't build your house out of
gingerbread next time. |
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May
5/12/09
Zebras were glad when prison jump suits were changed from striped to
solid colors.
5/13/09
If you're a man and you think the woman's place is the kitchen that is
fine to think but just don't ever say it out loud.
5/22/09
Keeping in touch with someone usually doesn't involve the sense of
touch but rather that of the sense of hearing.
5/25/09
Heaven: If you don't know you won't go.
5/26/09
Exercising on a stair-stepper is a lot more fun if you imagine that you
are squashing grapes.
5/28/09
If we used leaves as paper it would be just like recycling except you
wouldn't have to.
5/29/09
Don't wet your whistle because whistles sound better when dry.
5/30/09
Less is more.. but not really. |
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| June |
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6/2/09
Don't let the cat out of the bag or people will know you're not a good
pet owner. |
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6/7/09
Everything is easy if you don't do it.
6/8/09
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen or just open the
fridge.
6/9/09
Sometimes life really stinks but death always smells worse.
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July
Lesson
Mania Week
7/13/09
Day 1- 5 Lessons
If you're afraid of loosing your home you really should have bought a
bigger house. Most people's houses are very easy to see.
Flashback Edition:
Yet another bad combination: Quick as a cat yet blind as a bat.
Have a Sad Birthday! Because only if you have a sad birthday will you
appreciate a happy one.
Some holidays are observed on their nearest Monday rather than on their
actual date. The reason why Independence Day, more commonly referred to
as The Fourth of July, is not one of those holidays should be obvious.
Oven mitts are the best things to catch hot ovens with but you still
shouldn't be playing catch with ovens.
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7/14/09
Day 2- 5 Lessons
Silence is golden because you can't hear gold.
Yet another bad combination: Rich and famous yet childish and
aimless.
It is much more difficult to vanish into thin air than into an air of
average thickness.
When asked "What part of no don't you understand?" Your response should
be "What part of homophone don't you understand?"
People that get mad when someone wastes food don't understand the
concept of digestion.
7/15/09
Day 3- 5 Lessons
Always keep your priorities straight unless one of your priorities is
bending.
Yet another bad combination: Delicious and gooey but too loud
when you're chew'n.
This lesson just goes to show you that anything can go to show you.
If your boss is always yelling at you suggest an Inter-Office Phone
System.
It's easy to lose sleep because when you're asleep you can't pay very
good attention.
7/16/09
Day 4- 4 Lessons
People that think hot dogs have disgusting ingredients should consider
that they are called hot dogs so any ingredient they have that isn't
dog is pretty much up from there.
Yet another bad combination: Cute and funny but no money.
If your yard catches fire put up a sign that says, "Please Do Not Throw
Fire"
It is never tomorrow.
7/17/09
Day 5- 4 Lessons
If you don't like the word bad it's probably because it is no good.
Yet another bad combination: Loud and proud in a hostile crowd of
a differing opinion.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator so you can say, "I'll see you
even later."
If you don't know the answer to a question use reverse psychology and
ask a question.
7/18/09
Day 6- 10 Lessons
If someone tells you to "Get Real" and you do so. Come back the next
week and see if they tell you to "Keep it Real."
Four
legged animals are usually faster than 2 legged people but if you want
to feel the thrill of victory with something that has four legs, race
your table and you will win because it is not an animal.
March is the most fit month.
Yet another bad combination: Big and fat yet sleeping on a thin
mat.
Thank you racists because if it weren't for you no one would know
racism is bad.
If you don't like jokes about being rich you have a poor sense of humor.
Doing dangerous things for fun will make you feel alive but will make
you feel dead much longer.
July is the least trusting month.
If
you're walking down the street and get shot with a harpoon you should
totally tell everyone you know about it because most people on the
street get shot with boring old guns.
In athletics often pros are cons.
7/26/09
When sneezing people often say "achoo" but what people really mean to
say is something else entirely. When you're about to sneeze you gasp
and you can't make the sound of a T when you gasp. So you say "aah" and
you end up saying "achoo" but what you really mean to say is "tissue"
because that's what you need when you sneeze. |
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8/3/09
The best part of waking up is getting to go back to sleep.
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10. If you're afraid of loosing your
home you really should have bought a
bigger house. Most people's houses are very easy to see.
9. Always keep your priorities straight unless one of your priorities
is
bending.
8. Don't let the cat out of the bag or people will know you're not a
good
pet owner.
7. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen or just open the
fridge.
6. If you're eaten out of house and home don't build your house out of
gingerbread next time.
5. When someone says to you, "It's a small world." tell them to go take
a
walk.
4. Oven mitts are the best things to catch hot ovens with but you still
shouldn't be playing catch with ovens.
3. Sometimes life really stinks but death always smells worse.
2. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,
except
when your child goes missing.
1. In athletics often pros are cons.
All Lessons 2008-2009 (unless noted)
Piemerica