Mental Asylum

Character Analysis

-Real Doctor: (Kashief) Dr. Bob Goodbar is a 36 year old man he is also 5'9" with brown/black hair. He Farts a lot and smokes. He also has no common sense.

-Receptionist: (Bobbie) Diane Valley a 22 year old woman with blond hair. She is a very gossipy/airhead/loudmouth/rude type of woman.

-Psycho Doctor: (Holly) Alberta Einstein is a 21 year old woman who is smart, megalomaniac, obsessive compulsive and abusive.

-Narcoleptic: (Stephanie) 69/70 year old. He is kind of big with white/silverish hair; he is very dumb and tells too many stories.

-Delivery guy: (Eddie) Stuey Small a 27 year old guy who is pretty average looking, rude, and pushy.

-Kleptomaniac: (Michelle) Grabina Lots is a 19 year old woman who is short and thin with Brown/blond hair, blue eyes. She is Skiddish and paranoid.

-Nurse: (Jennifer) Susan Day (change for sex of character) is a 22 year old, real sweet but terribly stupid. She is still in Med school.

-Indian: (Scott) A man in an Indian costume

-Patients: (Marie, Brittanie, CB, The Joe) The patients in the rooms

Prelogue

Dr. Bob: (walks in room with clipboard towards the patient) so how are you feeling?
Psycho: I don't know, I have been having this strange urge....
Dr. Bob: ok, well, tell me about it while I check your brain waves.
Psycho: I have been thinking of stealing your identity.
Dr. Bob: (shrugs it off) Yea whatever (turns around writing on board)
Psycho: Whatever this! (Hits doctor with a fanny pan)

First Scene
(The delivery guy (Stuey Small) drives down the street in a truck. He walks into the Psyche Ward to deliver the medicine. As he walks in towards the receptionist desk he sees the receptionist on the phone as he tries to ask for help she deliberately ignores his existence.) ~Music: the Doors "People are strange"~

Stuey: Excuse me where am I Supposed to take this medicine?
Diane: (with an attitude and carelessness) down the hall doll (waves hand down the right hall)

Stuey: Well what room?
Diane: (Still talking on the phone she waves him off)

~Alberta enters the room~

Stuey: Hey Chief, where am I supposed to take these?
Alberta: Ok, you're the delivery guy with the medicine?
Stuey: Yeah Chief
Alberta: Ok, well just follow me down this (says in creepy voice) Dark secluded hallway.
~Music: Aerosmith "Walk This Way"~ Stuey & Patients CB & (The Joe) dance~
~Alberta and Stuey exit scene with Stuey behind Alberta walking down the hall to a dark room. Alberta opens the door to the room and Stuey walks in and all of a sudden the door slams behind him. Panicking, Stuey begins to pound on the door in a mad rage. ~Music: Grits "Antagonist"

Narcoleptic: Hello...(says in creepy voice) Stuey
Stuey: (turns around to find a rather old man sitting alone in a dim light) Hey Chief how did you know my name?
Narcoleptic: I saw it on you..(the old man falls asleep for a min)
Stuey: (confused look on face) Hey Chief, get up!

~A man in an Indian costume walks into the room~

Indian guy: ~Music: YMCA~ (raises hand) How! Wait this isn't the YMCA

~Nurse walks in and asks~

Susan Day: Has anyone seen my medical forms?

~in the background there is the Kleptomaniac running with papers in her hands~
~Narcoleptic and Stuey look at each other in confusing and Susan shrugs her shoulders and leaves the room~

Narcoleptic: ........(waits a min) Name tag.
Stuey: What cha say Chief?
Narcoleptic: I saw it on your name tag
Stuey: Ya got any ideas on how I can get out of here, Chief?
Narcoleptic: I know the (stresses out the word "only") ONLY way, THE ONLY WAY OUT! I mean the only, completely, totally, way out of here man..only me! You see if you have been in here as long as I have..then you would know the way. That's why you don't know! Cause you just got here! And Only I know the way! (Stuey looks at watch and around the room in irritation) Yes sir, I would be out of here if I..(he looks down with eyes barely shut)
Stuey: (sighs and beings poking him)
Narcoleptic: (annoyed) I'm not asleep yet!
Stuey: (Looks off into the distance with a puzzled look) I wonder where that doctor went.
Narcoleptic: Well, I think he went...(falls asleep)

~ends scene~

Second Scene
~Alberta enters the Rec Room and kicks the patients off the couch. A patient asks for help from Alberta. The Kleptomaniac steals things while no one is paying attention. Music: WWF songs~

Alberta: Hey I'm the doctor get off the couch
Kleptomaniac: Doc, Doc I need help!! ("Help," by: The Beatles.)
Alberta: Wait a second this isn't the right song. (plays the "Time Warp" & patients perform the Time Warp with lip syncing & dancing. (The Joe) portrays Riff-Raff & Marie portrays Magenta)
Guy: And now patients it's that time of the day again, it's time for WWF montage.

~The patients start fighting and yell words to make the fight better. (The Joe hits CB with a chair) Nurse Susan looks around the room and exits~
Ends second scene~

Third Scene
~back to the padded room. Music: Bobbie's song~

Stuey: (looks around the room and pokes the narcoleptic)
Narcoleptic: to the Rec Room
Stuey: How do I get out of here?
Narcoleptic: Well you see I know the way out. Yes sir only meeeee...not you. Well duh cause you are asking me, but I (Stresses out "I") know the only way------(gets interrupted by Stuey)
Stuey: LISTEN, before you start to fall asleep on tell me!!!

~Susan enters the room and asks~

Susan: where is the toilet screw?

~Klepto is in the background sneaking past the nurse. The nurse spots the klepto and starts to chase her. Narco and Stuey shrugs shoulders and goes on with the script~

Narcoleptic: (Starts to fall asleep)
Stuey: (grabs Narc's face opens eyelids)
Narcoleptic: Ok ok I think your problem is, is that you have been pushing the door not pulling.
Stuey: Oh, thanks Chief ~Music: "Break out!"~

~Ends scene three~

Fourth Scene
~Stuey runs to front table, goes outside grabs medicine takes it inside. Dr. Bob walks in and talks to Stuey.~

Dr. Bob: Oh hey, you're finally here
Stuey: I've been here locked up with a narcoleptic by some crazy doc

~Alberta enters~

Stuey: look there she is now
Alberta: Whatever he says is wrong! He's lying
Dr. Bob: Hey I think that you two should follow me and we can discuss this.
Stuey: I'm not going anywhere with that crazy lady she shouldn't even be called a doctor!
Dr. Bob: I haven't seen you before, are you a real doctor?
Alberta: No! I mean yes..of course I am.
Dr. Bob: ahh ha!! She really is a REAL Doctor!
Stuey: No she's not! I think she's wearing your scrubs
Dr. Bob: how do you know?
Stuey: your name is on them. Here I'll find out if she is a real doctor. I'll ask her a question that only a real doctor would know. Ok.. ready? Here we go: How many CC's does it take to screw a light bulb?
Dr. Bob: I don't know that.. hmm let's all just take a guess then. I say ... 10
Alberta: umm uhh...24?

~Klepto enters the room~

Kleptomaniac: No! it's neither of those. It's 45 Stuey.

Stuey: You're Right! How did you know that and how did you know my name?
Kleptomaniac: I stole you the doctor's medical forms and I have your wallet.
Dr. Bob: well come on (Takes Alberta off)

~Stuey stares at Klepto, Klepto smiles and runs off and Stuey chases after her and she throws a bag of stuff she stole onto Stuey. Stuey struggles to get the bag off and catch up with the Klepto, but doesn't get to~

Stuey: Hey!! I found the toilet screw!
Susan: (walks up to Stuey and thanks him and walks away with him and that ends the scene) ~Music: I'm a maniac (flash dance)~