Mission in Las Vegas
Background:
Mission in Las Vegas was a script written & performed by the 2001-2002 Munford High School Theater Arts II class. It was preformed as the centerpiece of "A Night of One Acts" sometime around November 2001.

*Scene One and Two*
Energy Guy (Greg)- Jonathan
Korean Lady (Chon Wayne)- Jennifer
Hunk-A-Man- Kashief
Mr. T- Eddie
Elvis- Holly
Mr. Rogers and Viewer- Scott & Kristen
Narrator- VJO (The Joe)

Scene One
"Introduction"
Everyone enters the lobby...Chon Wayne walks up to the elevator followed by Greg, Hunk-A-Man, Mr. T and then Elvis. Each person freezes (freeze frame) when they approach the elevator while they freeze the narrator will introduce them.

*Narrator: Meet Chon Wayne, a short Korean lady, trying to make it to the music awards.
(end freeze frame and enters Greg, starts Freeze frame again)
*Narrator: This is Greg, he drove 500 miles straight on "no dose" and he has an obsession for Whitney Houston. (end freeze frame..enters Hunk-A-Man, freeze frame starts again)
*Narrator: here we have Hunk-A-Man, a mild manner bouncer by day and night, he is here...well.. no one quite knows why he is here. (end freeze frame..enters Mr. T, freeze frame starts again)
*Narrator: here is Mr. T he is hosting the Music Awards..... dang he is pretty. (ends freeze frame..enters Elvis, freeze frame starts again)
*Narrator: This is umm... well..forget it..it's obvious
(Everyone in the elevator now and they start chatting with each other. The doors start to close and Mr. Rogers start hollering to the elevator trying to get people to stop it. Mr. Rogers freezes and the Narrator introduces him.)
*Mr. Rogers:(screams tiredly) Hey!! WAIT!! Wait for me!! Hold the doors! (freezes)
*Narrator: This is Mr. Rogers who has ventured out of his neighborhood trying to prove to a younger view that he can still catch an elevator.
(Mr. Rogers is going too slow..so he misses the elevator)
*Mr. Rogers: Oh darn.
*The Viewer: (Laughs Hysterically) ha ha ha..(ends scene one)
(Bell dings Scott to cross stage left to right with sign.)

Scene Two
"In the Elevator"
*Mr T: (Looks at pity list) I pity the fool who stops the elevator while Mr. T is in it.
*Greg: I don't know about you guys but I am still going up
*Chon Wayne: (acts hysterical) Stop that's my air you breathing!! No body breathe. (Puts hands on everyone's mouth)
*Hunk-A-Man: (cries) did the elevator stop?!?!
*Elvis: (sings) uh huh... This has became a heartbreak hotel.
*Hunk-A-Man: (gets cocky) I know people ARE missing my presence.
*Greg: (Screams) YOUR presence?!?! We are going to miss Whitney Houston!!!
*Mr T: SHUT UP fool! I don't understand why these kids are soo corrupt by these "Cultural Pop Icons" these such as Whitney Houston. Don't ya'll know who I am?? I am Mr. T fool. I started all this. I pity the fool who don't know who Mr. T is!! (Directed at Greg) MURDOCK! Why you shaking?!
*Chon Wayne: STOP TALKING so much!! you stealing my air!!
*Hunk-A-Man: (gets serious) There is only one thing to do....I vote Mr. T because he is not as sexy as I.
*Chon Wayne: I vote Mr. T because he because he takes too much air!
*Elvis: Mr. T because he stepped on my blue suede shoes!
*Greg: (shows card that says Mr. T on it)
*Narrator: The tribe has spoken...Mr. T you ARE the weakest link Goodbye
*Mr T: I pity da fool who votes Mr. T off the Islavator (elevator/island)
*Narrator: It is back to the 80's with you Mr. T
(they open the door and throw Mr. T out after he leaves they all stare at each other and then they get off the elevator. Then Narrator drags the fallen Mr. T off stage)
(Ends scene Two)

Scene Three
"The dress"
Stephanie and CB (the customers)
Bobby and Michelle (the workers)

CB and Stephanie enter the shop in the hotel. And they discuss how Stephanie has gained weight and cannot fit in her dress for the Music Awards.

*CB: WOW!! It's a cold one today, huh? I hope this blizzard blows through, If it doesn't then we will never get the car out of the lot after the Music Awards.
*Stephanie: Yeah, it sure it..(snorts) honey, where is the seamstress?
*CB: I dunno baby..Let me get her (looks around the shop) Excuse me!! We need some help here!!
*Bobby: Michelle!!! Bring a table cloth!
(Michelle enters stage)
*Michelle: Yes, how may I help you?
*Bobby: DER! Did you think they were coming here to get a car?
*Stephanie: We are here to pick up my dress for the Music Awards
*CB: Yeah, we are going to the Music Awards in an hour so hurry, please
*Michelle: ok, ok..(exist and comes back with a dress) Ok, I found it..(Looks at Stephanie up, down, left to right, and front to back) I don't think this is the dress you were looking for! I will just take this one back and get the one you came--(gets interrupted)
*Stephanie: (gets offended) What are you talking about?? Of course this is the dress I came for.. I am the only one that wanted the...(describes the dress)
*CB: Hey!! What are you trying to pull??
*Michelle: nothing..but...ok, here is the deal..it looks like your wife has gained a little weight..umm...and--(gets interrupted again)
*Bobby: A little weight??
*Stephanie: WHAT!!?? What are you talking about?? I have been on a diet for the past three months getting ready for the Music Awards!
*Michelle: Well I can... umm..it can still fit you but it will cost extra
*CB: WHAT!!?? Are you trying to rip us off some money?
*Stephanie: we don't have enough money we spent it all on the Awards
*Bobby: You should have spent it on Jenny Craig.
*Stephanie: But I only ate fat free cheese cake
*Bobby: Yeah you but the cheese cake and the fat was free
*Michelle: I am sorry..but she looks like she has gained 70-80 pounds
*Bobby: More like a metric ton!
*Stephanie: (gets emotional) Are you listening to her are you hearing what she is saying?? She is calling me fat!
*CB: Listen lady..I don't know where you get off trying to get some more money off of me but It ain't working
*Stephanie: Didn't you hear her she called me fat!
*CB: Quiet woman she is trying to jip us out of OUR money!
*Stephanie: (starts to cry) All you care about is money
*Michelle: No uh that's not it..it's not the money..ok yeah it is the money..but she is fat too
*CB: Alright..that does it...I didn't want to come to this..but lady you pushed me too far!!
*Michelle: what are you talking about?!
*Bobby: HUH!?! What's going ?
*CB: (Fumbles in pocket) Pardon me while I whip this out
*Stephanie: What are you doing?? Aren't we supposed to be going to the Music Awards?
*CB: Not that, you MORON! THIS!! (screams) SUPER SWORD!! (Pulls out sword)
*Michelle: Are you mad??? I see now where this must go.. MASSIVE ATTACK! (pulls out bazooka)
*CB: I see that your swartz is as big as mine!
*Michelle: Yeah it runs in the family
*Stephanie: Too bad it doesn't in yours..
*CB: Doctor says there is medicine to help me with that...you know that I am sick
*Michelle: Just take the dress (throws dress to Stephanie) but I am selling it to you as it is
*Stephanie: (looks at dress) This isn't going to fit me
*CB: I don't know what kind of scam you are running here but we are going to a different shop..thanks for nothing
(As Stephanie & CB are walking away..)
*Stephanie: That was a lot of fun!! (reveals false fattitude) I love when we do that..they are soo gullible
*CB: Yeah, I love pulling my Swartz out in front of everyone!
*Stephanie: c'mon lets go to the Music Awards
(Ends Scene three)

Scene Four
"The Music Awards"
Mr. T
Whitney Houston- Brittany
Greg

*Mr T: And now we have the last performance tonight with that Famous fool that all ya'll youngsters are here to see tonight..I pity all of ya'll (introduces Whitney Houston) WHITNEY HOUSTON EVERYONE!!!
(Whitney comes in singing.. "I will always love you" ...while singing she gets attacked by Greg
*Greg: (hits her and puts her in a bag) Isn't she pretty??
*Mr T: I pity da fool that is in that bag..Well I Guess that concludes this night's ceremony..G'night folks...I said g'night
(walks off stage...and waits for the audience to get up)
*Narrator: And then...ha you thought we were done!! Ha ha
(goes back to the elevator)
*Narrator: Will Whitney Houston ever be found? Will Mr. T ever learn to act? Will I ever stop talking in this voice that sounds like I'm from The Twilight Zone We may never know for sure
*Everyone says: That's all folks! (music plays everyone starts to dance..they all do the twist)

Scripts

House
Night of One Acts Program:

Notes:
During the writing (The Joe) came up with many funny ideas that when pitched people laughed at but then they immediately disregarded it.
(The Joe) pointed out to Fritter & others how he was the only pre-existing writer there yet his ideas were ignored.
(The Joe)'s biggest (& virtually only) contribution to the script was the dancing at the end which he demanded.
(The Joe) wore his big shot jacket for his performance as the Narrator. Photo of Emperor MAR in that jacket.
Scene Specific Notes:
Scene 1:
Mr. Rogers was completely taken out of the performance.
(The Joe) was reportedly displeased having to look at Mr. T & say he is pretty. (October 9, 2002 Journal)
Scene 2:
Fritter played Mr. T. He wore an open vest. After he was pushed out of the elevator (The Joe) began to drag him off the stage but he was face down so his nipples screeched on the floor (it got a good laugh) & (The Joe) had to turn him over to drag him out.
Fritter: "my nipple has never been the same."
Scene 3:
The Bazooka pulled out was a Super Nintendo Superscope.
Scene 4:
Before scene four (The Joe), outside of the script & as an idea that came from Fritter & himself, said "Ladies & Gentlemen. It smells like Mr. T up in this house" as a mimic of The Oatmeal Phrase. Even though Fritter told him to say this he forgot that he did & his entrance was delayed. It was also not taken well backstage.