WARNING: DISEASE JELLY COMMERCIAL | WARNING: DISEASE JELLY COMMERCIAL |
| Both | Walk to podium and meet |
| Laslo PanafleX | (The Joe) did you hear about our old buddy? |
| (The Joe) | No. |
| Laslo PanafleX | It died yesterday. |
| (The Joe) | sobbing |
| Laslo PanafleX | I feel your pain. |
| (The Joe) | And so will everyone else with this new product |
| (The Joe) | Are people sucking? Making you want to give them savage beatings? |
| Laslo PanafleX | Can't give incurable diseases on the run? |
| (The Joe) | Well now you can with |
| Laslo PanafleX | New |
| (The Joe) | & Improved? |
| Both | Disease Jelly! |
| Laslo PanafleX | Fun for kids of all ages |
| (The Joe) | 11 & under |
| Laslo PanafleX | Shocked Expression Shakes Head & returns to normal |
| Laslo PanafleX | Try our new? regular size |
| (The Joe) | Also original.. |
| Laslo PanafleX | coughs rip-off |
| (The Joe) | travel size for the times when you want to spread horrible viruses to other parts of the country other than yours |
| (The Joe) | & introducing |
| Laslo PanafleX | Our brand-new |
| (The Joe) | Very old |
| Both | 2 in 1 |
| Laslo PanafleX | For the time when you want to kill a person |
| (The Joe) | but you don't know which disease to give 'em |
| Laslo PanafleX | & our greatest invention ever.. Glen Killer for when you see Glen on the street & want to give him horrible diseases |
| (The Joe) | & unprecedented |
| Laslo PanafleX | because we'd be hanged if it was |
| (The Joe) | Conspiracy Edition!! |
| Laslo PanafleX | YaY! performs retarded snake dance with joy |
| (The Joe) | For when you want to take out an entire government |
| Laslo PanafleX | or species |
| (The Joe) | Covers mouth Such as human beings uncovers mouth in one fatal swoop |
| Laslo PanafleX | And brand new Pocket Size! |
| Laslo PanafleX | Walks through airport metal detector, it goes off, & he gets a Savage Beating |
| Laslo PanafleX | And listen to the exciting & life threatening diseases |
| (The Joe) | We've got polio |
| Laslo PanafleX | diabetes |
| (The Joe) | small pox |
| Laslo PanafleX | AIDS |
| (The Joe) | lime disease |
| Laslo PanafleX | malaria |
| (The Joe) | maliCe |
| Laslo PanafleX | black plague |
| (The Joe) | bubonic plague |
| Laslo PanafleX | ebola |
| (The Joe) | syphilis |
| Laslo PanafleX | leprosy |
| (The Joe) | flesh eating virus |
| Laslo PanafleX | Don't forget our wide variety of cancers |
| Laslo PanafleX | mouth, lip, throat, teeth, gum, book, shoe, plate |
| (The Joe) | Etc |
| Laslo PanafleX | Begins to eat disease jelly |
| (The Joe) | So join the fun & give someone an incurable disease today |
| Laslo PanafleX | Falls down & dies |
| (The Joe) | Or Else! |