1/14/02
Top 3 Reasons (The Joe) Drinks Books:
3. (The Joe) invented Drinking Books
2. When I was just a little boy I asked my mother what would I be she said I'd either bust crooks or Drink Books
1. I wanted to be part of the in. crowd*
*in. as in an abbreviation for insane |
2/18/02
Top 3 Ways to get a hamster into a lightening rod:
3. jog
2. rock crackers
1. chimney whistles | 2/27/02
Bottom 3 Ways to Measure a Ruler:
3. Use the ruler itself
2. Using the laundry hampers as a lawn gnome
1. bullet ridden sacks of cloth
0. Think |
8/29/02
Top 3 Tips for Avoiding Sinking Sand:
3. If you put sand in your sink don't turn on the water
2. Kidnap the mail carrier & ask for the addresses of sinking sand
1. Walk into some sinking sand & say "GeT outta HerE!"
If this doesn't work don't struggle for you'll never get free. | 8/29/02
Top 3 Continents not Listed on a Map:
-All Continents Listed on map no need for this- |
9/29/02
Top 3 ways to find out if something is an alligator:
3. Say "Everybody look a crocodile" if you get mauled it was an alligator
2. Ask it "are you an alligator?" if it says noting it probably is or is not an alligator but if it says "yes" ask it "can I put you in a big cage and sell you for millions to a big guy in a large hat?"
1. Get an alligator & put it in a big fuzzy suit if the other thing laughs, it's an alligator. |
10/9/02
Top 3 ways to win an ice war:
3. Refuse to use fire, this will confuse the enemy or it will make them feel sorry for you because of your gross ignorance.
2. Fire
1. Agree to sign a treaty, then sign a Twinkie, act like you're swimming in air for 14 seconds, and finally hit your enemy in the spine with an ice baseball bat. |