3. If you say "ey look at me"
beware for one of the people there may stalk you for the rest of your
life.
2.
When someone gives you a gift it is better to not repay them, than to
lock them in your basement, feed them nothing but bow ties until they
say "I admit I'm a leprechaun."
1. Remember a picture is worth
a thousand words not a picture can say a thousand words, so stop
torturing them in your cellar.
Additional:
#1 was only the 4th Lesson ever it was referred to in another Lesson
seen here from 8/14/02:
You
can tell the tree to stand up but if you tell it to sit down it won't.
So don't talk to trees, you picture torturing cellar monger.
Post Vote Inductee:
Some people will never learn. The sad
thing is most of those people go to school.
Top
3 Lessons of 2002
3. If a thug
draws a knife on you wash it off.
2. When there's nothing left to
do dance! Cause dancing will cheer anybody up.... except the cripple.
1. If you have a problem don't
use an escalator.
Top
3 Lessons of 2003
3. If you can't beat 'em join 'em unless they're beating you
2. When I'm looking at my
folder I have a paper view.
1. When arguing at sea don't go
overboard.
Top
3 Lessons of 2004
3. The future is unforgettable.
2. Train owners in the 1800s
were very bad people so that they could get much coal every Christmas.
1. Up & Down are opposites
& that's why they like each other.
Top
3 Lessons of 2005
3. Bicycles
will let anyone ride them.
2. Happiness is like a
drug except it is harder to obtain.
1. Remember always safety
first.. well actually always remember first.
Top
10 Lessons of 2006
10. Hole punchers are useless.
9. It's easy to catch a train because it leaves tracks everywhere it
goes.
8. Death is just around the coroner.
7. The reason why people refer to cars as feminine is because most car
lovers are men & they don't want to sound gay.
6. If you ever lose your eyeballs the best place to look for them is..
oops sorry.
5. The best way to get to the root of a problem is to use a lumber jack.
4. Business damages caused during a bar fight can be repaired with
scotch tape.
3. Not even sunglasses could make the sun look cool.
2. Being on a fixed income is better than being on a broke income.
1. Lighting in the sky is like God taking pictures of us.
Top
5 Lessons of 2007
5. An old wives' tale is gossip that hasn't stopped circulating.
4. For a loner every bye is a good bye
3. It is better to be insane than incrazy.
2. The fastest way to world peace is for everyone to die in war.
1. Not all hillbillies are named Billy but they are all related to him.
Top
5 Lessons of 2008
5. Here's a healthy cooking reminder: If you
fry you die. If you bake it you make it.
4. God caused people to lose their sight as they get older to make it
easier on them when having to look in the mirror.
3. Pollution is good for you. It makes you realize there should be less
pollution.
2. The reserves for the Marines are called Sub Marines.
1. Super is supper with one ‘p’ that is how good supper is you see.
10. If you're afraid of loosing your
home you really should have bought a
bigger house. Most people's houses are very easy to see.
9. Always keep your priorities straight unless one of your priorities
is
bending.
8. Don't let the cat out of the bag or people will know you're not a
good
pet owner.
7. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen or just open the
fridge.
6. If you're eaten out of house and home don't build your house out of
gingerbread next time.
5. When someone says to you, "It's a small world." tell them to go take
a
walk.
4. Oven mitts are the best things to catch hot ovens with but you still
shouldn't be playing catch with ovens.
3. Sometimes life really stinks but death always smells worse.
2. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,
except
when your child goes missing.
1. In athletics often pros are cons.