I think I am a beautiful man but others for some reason disagree. For example:  I was walking down the street the other day & this lady said to me "you look like you've been hit by a bus." I said "Thank you, because the last person who talked to me said 'you look like you've been hit by a thresher'." So we got married but she said "standing in the middle of the road while I park my car does not constitute as marriage." So that's why I don't have any kids. I knew it was true love when she said "Look I know you're a comedian I get the joke. Now please leave me alone!" She got the joke! But soon that love fell apart when she said "This isn't funny anymore please go away before I call the police." So I left & drank a book etc.etc.